Weather Report*

“It *never* snows in Brighton!” -That’s what they used to say, The weather this morning reminding me It’s not always been that way…. My first year here Saw the beach disappear In a blizzard of unbroken white: They closed all the schools And sent us all home For sledging and a snowball fight! With nothing […]


The politicians have come to town. Can you hear their rallying sound…? The rhetoric of opposition Spoiling for a competition Teresa (bless ‘er) somewhere far Away from all this bru-ha-ha: Hands over ears, I’d like to conjecture, Sparing the ignominy of an unwanted lecture: One she must’ve known was due On account of a banner […]

Summer in the City*

A model of the pier A stick of Brighton rock A bargain from Primark A genuine linen frock… Chips on the seafront While seagulls parade -Don’t look now: Be very afraid… Those beady eyes and polished beaks Surveying the humans, those sideshow freaks Walking along like Kings of the Prom Without so much as a […]

Good Old Sussex By The Sea*

The Palace Pier is back in town! Grab your beach gear! Come on down!! -Not forgetting your brolly and mac: It’s good to anticipate a weather attack Typical of British holiday resorts, Where Kiss-Me-Quick hats can still be sought But brollies and macs are much more the ticket For those imbued with British holiday spirit, […]

Flat-Pack Fandango*

Ooooh, Yez…!! Good people of Brighton- Ikea is set to enlighten The retail prospects of our coast, This furniture multi-mart loved the most For flat-pack furniture, china and plants, Finally giving locals the chance To cruise their way along the coast In order to become entirely engrossed With three-dimensional representations Of previously pictorial furnishing sensations Which […]

Parking Political*

Parking in Brighton Is far from right on… The premium tariffs completely adrift And, frankly, causing rather a rift Between the Council, hovering with greed And road users whose freedom this impedes, Tourists, its seems, at the top of the list Of those entitled to feel p*ssed While those of us who just reside Are […]


Taking a taxi’s Supposed to relax me, Convey me in style, Not a stressed out pile Of awe and wonder, the curious kind That pains the soul and vexes the mind; Makes a body regret the choice To take the risk and save the voice… All of this, in case you’re wondering, Is very much […]