Injunctions*

Blood is thicker than water,
Implying from Day One
The coulda-shoulda-oughta-*
Kinda undertakings implied by genetics
That, over time, hone to family polemics
Passed unquestioning across generations,
The unnoticed ceding of trophy vexations
Urging their way to a marketable brand
With nobody pausing to try and understand
Just exactly how these have grown,
Passively, silently, rigidly honed.
Sharp as a reflex, no pause for reflection,
Invisible scars needing surgical correction,
The treatment required to put them right
Something invisible in plain sight:
Something equating an intervention
With explicit, professional, therapeutic intention.
The question, then, is how to begin,
Going back to the blood-and-water thing…
Muddying the field with tip-toed prints
Evidence of efforts to convince
Of genuine, heartfelt will for repair.
But what if, in the end,
There’s nobody there?

 

 

* a term in psychotherapy that loosely describes the consequence of social and emotional learning acquired through experience of social relationships, beginning with passive acquisition of what we accept as ‘normal’ as the consequence of learning within our own family.

A lack of current perspectives at the time of publication would suggest either that such a situation is less prevalent among younger people or that nobody’s talking about not talking about it…

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/series/my-family-values – an eclectic perspective

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/27/siblings-what-if-the-bond-just-isnt-there

http://s-f-walker.org.uk/pubsebooks/pdfs/Carl_Rogers_On_Becoming_a_Person.pdf

www.samaritans.org

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