A model of the pier
A stick of Brighton rock
A bargain from Primark
A genuine linen frock…
Chips on the seafront
While seagulls parade
-Don’t look now:
Be very afraid…
Those beady eyes and polished beaks
Surveying the humans, those sideshow freaks
Walking along like Kings of the Prom
Without so much as a tiddly-pom,
The gifts of candy and chips they’re bearing
Just a little too good for not sharing.
See the seagulls homing in-
This is where the fun begins…
Circling in with a clarion call
Welcome one bird? -Welcome all!
Cackling laughter filling the air
While traumatised tourists share their despair
Rushing to the aid of family and food
Using language in public that’s really quite rude(!)
Flapping their arms and crying out loud
Starting to draw their very own crowd,
Nobody brave enough to assist
In this photo-opportunity (-not to be missed!!).
Baggage dropped and purchases strewn
To their mocking choral tune,
Peels of laughter piercing the air:
They just don’t care!
Locals look, perhaps assist,
This photo-opportunity not to be missed
Forgetting they are not immune
To these pristine winged devils
And their signature tune…¹
* preferably by public transport…!
¹ ‘Ha-ha-ha-haaa’ [repeat ad infinitum]