Armchair Linesman*

Wimbledon’s just now done and dusted.
Plenty there to be deconstructed,
Watching the re-runs and slo-mo clips
In between the fish and chips…
I really just don’t get it at all,
The human need to chase a ball,
Historically linked by convolution
To hunter-gathering evolution,
The basic need for proteined food
A focus for the the common good
Leaving time for leisured ways
In these more advantaged days,
Supermarkets well-located
So all taste may be well sated,
Not forgetting home delivery:
Vehicles with or without livery
Coursing round our city streets
Transporting exotica for all to eat,
Further encouraging slovenly ways
Like TV dinners on sporting days…
This sedentary exercise-by-proxy
Suggesting something’s gone wrong badly.
(-Not that I would dare complain:
There’s really nothing to be gained
In rousing a sports-obsessive chap
Quietly grazing with a tray on his lap.
And at least there isn’t much to clear,
Apart from the cartons and a few tins of beer!)
The contradiction’s easy to miss-
This circumvention of basic fitness…
Observation just ain’t the same
As actually going out to play the game!


* companion to Armchair Manager…



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