Spectre*

Where did you come from?
Why are you here?
You have no right to just turn up
But still you appear
A spectre of vengeance
As if to test my will,
Or maybe just to check
You’re remembered here still?
To see if you still matter
(I’m sure you can guess-
You’d have to be sociopath
Not to recognise your mess…)
The only thing you did for me
Was to shatter my soul
Pour lies onto the scattered shards
And leave me far from whole.
So I don’t know why you’ve come here
Don’ know what you want
I’m angry that you’ve done this
If only just to taunt.
What made you feel invited’?
What have you come to say?
I will never forget your departure day:
The message you left me,
The cleaning all done,
As though to salve the conscience
Of the bastard you’d become.
In saying all this
It’s apparent I’m still burned;
The scars long grown over
And many corners turned.
I’ll never forget you
As long as I live:
And it seems
Decades later
I’m still unable
To forgive..

 

* Uninvited and uncomfortable re-emergence of restless memories.  Even after more than a decade, the spectre of my now-very-ex husband has a habit of reappearing when I least expect it.

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