There are things I want to say
If I only had the faith to pray.
If only I could find the grace
To surrender to that spiritual place
Inhabited by so many I know.
For me, right now, it shan’t be so,
For reasons I cannot explain.
As much as I feel emotional pain
I take a critical view of life.
As much as I need to know I’m loved
(Though more that close family than One above),
I find myself unable to pray,
Historical barriers in my way,
Some rooted in learned ritual
More cognitive than spiritual:
Others more pragmatic by far,
On life and death in particular.¹
Happy enough to simply be,
The prospect of ‘renewal’
Is just a stretch too far for me,
Daily making reparation
For simple acts of miscreation
To live with love and, I hope, compassion:
Nothing outstanding, no vocational passion.
And once week, I stand in line
With people sharing a single mind
To sing from the very depths of the soul.
It’s this, I think, that keeps me whole.
*With love and grateful thanks to everyone I sing with.
`¹ a combination of personal experience, close-handed witness of religious division and encounters with other philosophies.