Didn’t we have a luvverly time
The day we went to Goodwood!¹
To be fair, I only went for the food
-And company too, not meaning to be rude…
A day at the races…?
Of all the places I’d ever imagined I’d be
This, without doubt, would be last on my list
To date the point completely missed,
The whole endeavour, a mystery
Allegedly rooted in history:
This Sport of Kings with all its pride,
Watching other fellas ride
While gents in suits, uncomfortable-looking
Imply this is truly a regular booking.
There’s women in dresses and heels and hats
But nobody thought to tip me on that.
I asked- I did!-to try to assure
I’d step out in the correct couture
But, well, what else should I expect
Except to remain sartorially incorrect…?
-Though ulitmately grateful to circumvent
The undignified teetering descent
Witnessed with the straightest of faces
As gels with all their designer graces
Slipped and slid to keep their balance,
Their loved-ones’ duty of valiance
Superseded by the rush of the nags
The prospect of profit,
The lighting of fags…
The fluttering frocks and whimsical hats
And silent thoughts of, ‘What on earth is that??!’
The sinking of heels like nails in the grass
An unfortunate mixture of muck and class.
And then to the business of picking the winners:
As random as plucking the Saints from the Sinners.
Blessings and praise in rich abundance,
A Glorious day of general indulgence,
The mixing of ordin’ry folks and toffs
All equally, urgently, cheering-
¹An unexpectedly great day out, WRT Fiddlers’ Dram’s memorable ‘Day Trip to Bangor… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8WiPy1xSkw