Dear Allotment Overseer,
I thank you for your letter.
It’s regrettable you find my plot
Just isn’t getting better.
I really appreciate the pressure on the land
So here, in my defence,
Some things I’d ask you to understand…
The first is what it means to have
This little patch of space
A rectangle of sanctuary,
A peaceful, purposeful place.
And yes, I understand with the fullness of duress
That lately I have let things slip
-The plot is a mess.
I also understand (maybe more than you know)
How aggravating this can be:
There must be quite a few like me…
The fact is, Sir, that other things
Have grown to need attention,
Persuading the division of time
In unplanned directions.
I’m not asking for sympathy,
Just, perhaps, a little clemency
Finding I’m committed
To wider needs of Family*.
I’m no showcase gardener:
I dig for myself,
For a deeper love of nature
And a goodness of health…
Though perhaps the most distraction
From my cultivating ventures
Is the weird and the strange,
An assortment of critters.
The slugs and the snails in daily assault,
A plight that really isn’t entirely my fault
But finds me feeling quite defeated
When all the good stuff’s being eated…
I won’t use chemicals to rid the place of creatures
Simply because I believe they’re a feature
Crucial to the ecosystem’s delicate balance,
Animal and vegetable in an intricate dance,
Each in their way supporting the load
Earthworm, slow-worm, frog and toad
(And frankly, my inner four-year old
Simple just will not be told!
A fascination hard to quell-
But I’m there on my own, so what the hell?!)
And as for the bamboo…
Well, it really isn’t spreading:
The roots are in a bucket
And I’m constantly beheading,
Using all the sticks I’ve grown
As plant supports a plenty.
Though the fact that pandas stay away
Is really quite lamenty…
I’m tending to the bed size and tackling the weeds.
Planting out’s a little late, a fact I concede.
So really what I’m asking is review of permission,
Pleading as I am to maintain imposed conditions.
If you’ve made it this far, my thanks for your attention:
I wonder, have I said enough
To counter contravention…?
*rapid deteriorations of old age.